She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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