4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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