No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
