We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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