Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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