Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
