did you get engaged???
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
