I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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