i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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