woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
