Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
i black out too much to be "responsible"
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
