You really coming over, don't trick.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
