my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
