I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
