What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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