I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
