Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
