I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
