Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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