dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
