i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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