I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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