It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I woke up under a house in Key West
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
