i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
