Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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