This girl is more easily done than said...
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
