yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
We are all done wearing pants today
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
