I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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