Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
