pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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