She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
