Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
is wine microwaveable?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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