thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
