WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
