I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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