i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
