I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I will pee on everything he values.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
