They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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