Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
We were destined to go to rehab together
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
