is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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