So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
