Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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