You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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