he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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