i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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