I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
