She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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