Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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