your room smells of hookers.
And success
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
