After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
