I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
